Today I am sad.

It still seems like yesterday. There I was, 6 months pregnant, in a boat. Did I really want to be there? Nah. But my friend, Chris talked me into it. He said I needed to get out of the house. Heath was working, I had nothing better to do. But I was pregnant, I argued. He assured me that I’d still be the cutest gal on the lake, especially with my little belly poking out from under the plain white tank top I was sporting that afternoon. So I lathered my nose, and my belly, with sunscreen and loaded up in his truck with him and Kristy. We had the best time that day. Just relaxing in the sun and watching everyone ride jet skis and fish. Chris even got a ticket from the game warden. No, not for having a whale in his boat (me), but for lack of a registration card. But he didn’t let that ruin the day. That was Chris. Always smiling, always making me laugh. Always, always, taking care of me and looking out for me. He was my big brother. My friend. My confidant. I miss him so much, everyday. But for some reason, today…I can’t get him out of my mind. I have been on the verge of tears all day and I just can’t quite put my finger on what it is that seems so much more heart-wrenching about today compared to any other day. Nothing about his “story” has changed. He went away to war in Iraq and never returned home. Heath and I lost a friend. Pat lost a son. Dawn and Kyle lost a brother. Kristy lost a fiancé. But, today…it feels like the first night we found out. I’ll never forget that night. And today, all of those emotions are flooding back in. It’s been nearly four years, and the emotional floodgate has been opened. I love you Chris.

Idol Chatter

I now will give you all my take on American Idol because I feel certain you have all been sitting around, biting your nails, wishing for this.You haven't? Hmmph. Okay...on with my thoughts.

Dear Allison,
Just one week would you dye your hair black just so we can see how it looks? Please? I heard your voice described as "a set of vocal chords that have been marinating in Jack Daniels for 30 years." I couldn't have said it better myself. For 16 you are amazing. I do not think you did yourself justice with that song from Armageddon, but mainly because:
1. No one can sing like Stephen Tyler. NO ONE. (Hey Adam, NO ONE.)
2. And lastly because no one can sing like Stephen Tyler.
So next week, sing something from Pink. That's who you sound like. And color your hair...black...just for me. Think about it.

Dear Anoop,
I love you. I really do. I don't know why everyone has been so mad at you and continually putting you in the bottom three. I'm confused by this. I think you are cute as a button, you have a beautiful voice and I loved you in Slumdog Millionaire. I hope things work out for you. I think you deserve to stay longer than Lil, for Pete's sake.

Dear Adam,Uh............I'm confused.......................I think I’m a fan. But, in a way I’m not. And it's not because I feel like I am watching a Broadway musical every time you perform. And it's not because you gyrate, though I hate it when people "gyrate." And it's not because you lick the microphone like you're trying to get it pregnant. It's because you wear more make-up than my 10th grade science partner did. Bare Minerals. The end.

Dear Matt,
Dude. What is up? You could have sang any song from the movie Ray and yet you chose a Brian Adams song from a movie about a shirtless Lothario? What gives? My desire is for you to shave your head, wear white sneakers, sit behind a piano and sing Senorita. Oh, wait. Maybe my desire is just to go download Justin Timberlake from itunes and call it a day.

Dear Kris,
That performance? A.W.E.S.O.M.E. Really wonderful. Delicate and simple. And who in their right mind doesn't like that song? You just keep showin' up, little man.

Dear Danny,
Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. Danny, Danny, Danny, Danny. I like you so much. And I love your voice. And it's not just because you sang Endless Love and it's not because you kind of got weepy eyes when you sang it and it's not because your eyeglasses are the cutest thing since Leo's side swept bangs. It's because...okay, I lied, it's because of all those things.

Dear Lil,
It's been nice knowin' ya, Lil. But my dear, you tried to do something that I will always and forever object to: You tried to pull off a Bette Midler song. I guess I just find it astonishing that out of all the songs (Hello! Preacher's Wife, DreamGirls, Body Guard and Blues Brothers) you chose, The Rose. Hmmm. Call your kids, momma's coming home.

So there you have it. My thoughts.

Forgiven...Again

Do you ever wish you could go back in time? Where would you go? What would you do?


Some would go back and attempt to change history. You know, make sure Adolph Hitler never gets to purchase that 'how to be an evil dictator kit.' Or the folks that doubted that Mt. Vesuvius was going to blow would make it out of Pompeii in time to avoid the lava bath.


Others would go back in time to make easy money. Simple plan, just head back to the 1970's and put some serious bank in the little known company called Microsoft, and you're pretty much set for life. Or you could really impress your friends by knowing every Super Bowl and World Series champion year after year after year.


But then there are the people like me who would go back for a very different reason...which would be this:
Change


We look back in time and see all the forks in the road of life where we took the wrong turn, and permanent damage was done. All the unkind things we said, all the bad choices that we now regret, all the amazing opportunities that were given, but wasted.
That's kinda the premise of the film 17 Again starring 'I'm not just the High School Musical star' Zac Efron (Vanessa Hudgens not included). Zac plays a character that regrets missed opportunities from High School and is transformed into a 17 year old and given a second chance to be a basketball rock star. Of course, this is just a movie, right? But in real life, we can't go back and change our mistakes. Maybe that's what makes this film intriguing to so many...because it's captivating to think that there is a way we could unload guilt and regret from the past.


I have some great news for you. There actually is a way to change your past. It doesn't involve a time machine or an age transformation; it is actually much more radical change. What I'm talking about is a deeply personal experience that is a complete renovation of your soul and perspective on your past.
Are you in? If so, read through the promises listed below that come from God Himself:




But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness (1 John 1:9).
For his unfailing love toward those who fear Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:11-12).
Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean! (Micah 7:19).
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17).
These passages from the Bible are more than just words. They are pledges from the God of the universe who does not lie and who does not change. When you trust Jesus as your only hope of salvation, your past is dissolved like a drop of ink in a sea of pure water.
And now, here's the best part. Not only is your past forgiven, but even the things that haunt you in quiet moments can be used by God for your ultimate good:
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them (Romans 8:28).
Isn't this amazing? The stupid things we've done, the hurts we've caused, even the opportunities we missed are dark colors that God takes and transforms into a beautiful and bright picture when we leave it in His hands.
Bottom line: we can't go back and physically change the things that have happened, and we can't be transformed into a kid...but...we can gather all the sadness and remorse from our past and give it to the God who truly makes all things new.
So are you ready to be forgiven...again?

Mental list of Easter Blessings

the resurrection of our Savior

teaching Lucas the TRUE meaning

beautiful spring days

planting new flowers and veggies

rainy days

teaching my kids at church

Olive Garden with amazing family

crawfish, corn, n taters

watching Lucas play and hunt eggs

Lucas sandwiches in our bed

the amazing love of my life

Puddles and Peanut Butter

Puddles and Peanut Butter

A page from any given Mommy appointment book would likely appear to others as a multitude of unending tasks with too little time to do everything. There are activities for the children like preschool and soccer, and a few activities for herself. But my appointment book doesn’t include the other things I’m responsible for, like cleaning, cooking, shopping, bills and laundry. No wonder I feel frazzled!
My son’s day reads much differently. He spends his time playing, experiencing, exploring and testing. He doesn’t have any concept of time except when he’s bored or hungry. He doesn’t need to be constantly busy. He doesn’t have a list to check off. His perfect day is filled with his bike, the park, Spiderman, ravioli and not napping.
I often get impatient with my son because he just doesn’t seem to understand that we’re on a schedule. But, one day I stopped and watched my son play in a puddle. Maybe he wasn’t the problem. Maybe my schedule was.
His laugh was contagious as he tromped in a puddle; for that moment all he wanted to do was have fun. It didn’t matter to him if we were late or didn’t accomplish everything on our list. He just wanted to enjoy the moment.
Later that day he ate a few bites of his peanut butter sandwich, and proceeded to make balls out of it. Again, the look of accomplishment and his intense desire to make the perfect sandwich ball was enough to squelch the words, "Stop! You’re making a mess!"
Sometimes we need to let puddles and peanut butter get in the way of our orderly, scheduled lives. We need to let our kids be kids and not fall in line with our plans. We should schedule in more time or realize that messes and delays happen.